Dear friends,
Aren’t you glad we cats don’t have holidays? If we were like humans and celebrated the existence of food, we’d have a holiday everyday. But since we do not, my sisters and I spent that human holiday of Thanksgiving like we do every day: relaxing in the sun.
As you know, I have two really simple-minded sisters. Piper is the “cute” one, while Phoebe is the “sweet” one. Piper is also the annoying one, but she doesn’t see it that way. She doesn’t see how anyone one, human or feline, could find her pawing, hitting, biting, and gnawing anything but “cute.” I’ll challenge her on that, but Phoebe is sweet, which I see as being a pushover. When she tries to rest, Piper will sneak up on her and attack her. Case in point, the following series of pictures. The three of us were lounging in the kitchen, breathing in the aroma of mom and dad’s cooking, when Piper decided to break the calm and paw at Phoebe’s tail:
This went on for several minutes. Eventually, Phoebe got tired of Piper’s shenanigans…
…and got a hit in.
Let me explain why it’s not a good idea to annoy Phoebe for too long. Unlike Piper and I, Phoebe still has front claws. I am smart enough to know what I she could accomplish with her claws, but unfortunately for Piper (and fortunately for my amusement), she doesn’t get it.
But Phoebe doesn’t hold a grudge. That’s weak of her, but oh well. “Let’s not fight,” she said. “Let’s sit down in this warm sun and relax some more.”
I took this time to get up and tell them to settle down:
“Sister-cats,” I said. “That’s quite enough rough-housing. Behave yourselves. You’re both highly undignified.”
And then I stretched, laid down, and decided to take a nap in all of that sun. If they weren’t using it, I sure was:
We could have been a triumvirate.
However, I was not allowed to get comfortable yet. No sooner did I lay down did Piper decide she wanted to annoy me:
What happened next, friends, is exactly this: Piper got up and attacked me — unprovoked! I never said anything about her birth mother, no matter what she tells you.
I was lying there innocently when all of a sudden, she gets up and goes for my jugular:
As you can see, I was blindsided by Piper’s vicious attack. I looked to my other sister for help:
“Phoebe!” I demanded. “Get off your fat orange duff and help me! Use those claws that you still have!”
But Phoebe didn’t seem to care too much about my predicament and just sat there like a big, orange lump of useless bones:
“Sweet” one, my tail.
Piper and I wrestled for a few agonizing seconds — agonizing for her, that is. I am actually a skilled wrestler that can take on the biggest of creatures, even when they sit on my chest like this:
Eventually, my fighting prowess bested her, and she walked away before I could do any major damage to her incredibly delicate body:
However, my energy had yet to be spent. I felt indestructible! So much so, I decided that I might take on another opponent…
“Hey, Phoebe,” I purred. “Want to wrestle?”
She politely declined. Smart move, but somewhat disappointing.
In conclusion, my dear cat friends — remember that if you are harder, better, faster, stronger than your siblings, make sure they know it. Even the ones with claws.
Hope you had a good holiday.
Yours very truly,
Thor.